And that was the last I saw of or heard from Toby for over 2 weeks.  I didn't understand... ok, so Jeff slugged him, but why would he just ignore me like this?  I'm his friend--doesn't he know this?  I had heard through the grapevine that Toby was looking for Jeff to try to smooth things over, but no one knew where Jeff was and very few people had had any contact at all with Toby.

As the days went on, I and several other of his friends started to wonder what in the world was going on.  It was like neither him nor us existed at all.  I was starting to have doubts about the depth and seriousness of my friendship with Toby... after all, what kind of guy would just run off like that at what seems like some little thing?  Due to my increasing anxiety over this situation, so I decided to call Joe, another of Toby's friends, to see if he had heard from Toby or knew what was going on.  Well, Joe was miffed that Toby hadn't called him either.  In fact, he and Toby were supposed to go bowling a few days after the "incident" with Jeff, but Toby was a complete no show.  Toby hadn't even bother to call Joe and let him know.   Joe had obviously been looking for someone to rant on because he immediately took the opportunity to go off on Toby for the next 20 minutes with comments of "How could he do this?"  "I'm practically his best friend," and "So now Jeff is more important than me?!?"  He was absolutely livid, and I couldn't really blame him.  After all, I felt much the same way.  I decided to try to console him by saying that Toby is just in a funk and just to give it some time to blow over.  Then Joe took me by surprise.  "Well, if he is going to choose between running after Jeff and my friendship, then Jeff it is.  What a great friend, indeed!"

After hanging up the phone, I just stood there in silence.  I too couldn't believe how Toby was acting.  I mean:  was Jeff really THAT important, more important than me, Joe, or any of Toby's other friends?  Why would Toby do this to us?  What kind of friend leaves all his friends just for the sake of one friend, who really wasn't much of a friend at all.  I didn't quite blow Toby off like Joe did, but I wanted to.  Still, there was something in me that wanted to know WHY.

2 weeks came and passed with no word from either Toby or sign of Jeff.  I was really beginning to think that Toby might just using me for a friend when it suited him.  What good was a friend like that anyway?

Then a few days later I got a call from Toby, "Hey, meet me at McDonalds.  We've got to talk."  My initial impulse was to say "*choice obscenity* you" like I thought Joe would, but I held my tongue and decided,  "Hey, why not.  He was still my friend after all... maybe."
I told him I'd be there in 20 minutes and then we hung up.  When I walked into McDonalds, I spotted him over at a corner table, and I couldn't help but notice and be puzzled by a wave of relief that immediately flooded his face.  When I sat down, he just said, "Listen."

"I know what you must be thinking... 'why hasn't he bothered to drop by before now?'  Well, you're perfectly fair to ask that. But you have to understand what happened since Jeff and I had our little fight.  You see, I learned that after Jeff left my house, he didn't go home.  He was last seen filling up at the gas station, and another friend of mine overheard him arguing with himself about what he was going to do.  He decided he couldn't go back and face me so he got some food and just drove off.  When I found this out, I just couldn't let my friend leave... not like this."

(it was at this point that I recoiled from hearing the phrase "my friend."  How could he still be that?)

Toby was still talking: ".. and so I drove up to his mother's house and told her what had happened to try to understand what she thought about it.  She told me to stay there --  that he would call.  So I stayed there for a few days.  Eventually, I got sick of not doing anything other than calling people that he might have bunked with so I decided to head out on the road to try to figure out where he might have gone.  I gave his mom my cell phone number, and told her that if she heard from him to give me a call.  I got in my car and just stared out the windshield wondering what had happened and what to do.  I just started driving back toward home hoping that I would figure something out on the way."

"At every gas station I stopped at, I asked if anyone had seen anyone that fit his description or a similar model/color of car.  I never heard anything.  When I was nearly back in town, I decided to stop at a restaurant, get some food, and figure out what to do.  When I walked in, my heart jumped when I saw Jeff, or at least what was left of him.  I immediately walked over and told him how deeply sorry I was this whole ordeal had happened.  At first he was startled to see me, but after some reassurances, I sat down at the table.  When I told him how worried his mother was for him, he looked at me stunned and asked me how I knew.  I then told him what I've told you to this point."

Toby continued, "Right then, we made amends over the conflict we had.  I bought him dinner and then we drove to an ice cream shop to celebrate our good fortune.  I decided since it was such a great day, I'd drop by Joe's so we could all three go out and have some fun together.  All I have to say about that is 'wow.'  I thought he was my friend, and I thought he knew and trusted me.  What happened there shook Jeff up, so I dropped him off at his house.  That was about 10 minutes before I called you."

I didn't know what to say.  Now I knew why Toby was so relieved to see me.  There was just one thing I still wanted to know.  "But why didn't you call any one of us?  You went all this time with barely A WORD spoken, much less hanging out, with ANY of your friends... how many did you stand up anyway?... and all this for Jeff.  I don't understand."

Toby just looked at me.  "I highly value all of my friendships.  I don't take any of you for granted.  When Jeff took off, it became more important to get him back than to just hang out with you guys.  Don't you understand?  He needed me.  You didn't.  It only looked like I had left you.  I thought you would realize that getting my friend back is more important to me than simply going bowling with a few other friends.  I couldn't just sit around and have fun when one of my friends had really needed to hear from me.  It's like... like... like he was a lost sheep.   Besides, if you had really had some need of me, you know I'd have been here for you."

"I just thought you, of all people, knew me well enough to know what I care about."

-----

When will we Christians realize that God is willing to "risk us" in order to reach more people?  His heart is for the hurting.  Do we not know God well enough to understand that and trust Him?  The world is God's highest priority.  How easily we can forget that.

-- Faithful